Truth be told, I’m one of those hopefuls that believes there is someone out there for everybody. While I am happily married myself, I’ve heard my fair share of horror stories from my friends who are still actively dating. But as a plus, I’ve also heard about the successes and I love nothing more than hearing they finally found someone with potential.
Of course, navigating the dating world as a plus-sized woman comes with its challenges.
And, how do you meet men interested in plus size women?
As with a lot of things, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Online communities and dating websites work well for some people, but others have better luck getting out of the house and meeting someone by chance, face-to-face. There are even dating websites specifically for curvier ladies to meet men who love their body type.
Below, we’ll take a closer look at how to meet men interested in plus-sized women, from looking online to meeting people face-to-face and waiting for that “spark”. I’ll also give you some tips for dating as a plus size woman and how to build an online dating profile that will impress, should you decide to go that route.
Why You Should Consider Online Dating
Some people prefer that face-to-face connection but when you think about it, online dating really does open your options up. I think that’s one of the reasons that a lot of my plus-sized single friends have tried it. Just think about how many people are in your local area that you don’t bump into during your day-to-day routine.
Online dating gives you a chance to cast your net a little wider and connect with people you may not have met otherwise. Scientists have researched online dating and how its impacted romantic relationships and online dating does have its advantages as far as relationship success goes. All the conversation that happens in online dating before you actually go out with someone really gives you a chance to get to know them better.
Of course, there are disadvantages, too. You’ll find that there are advantages and disadvantages to every type of dating, though.
Are There Dating Websites for Men Who Like Big Women?
Yes, there are dating websites that cater especially to men who like big women. Some of my friends have said that being on these dating sites really helped with confidence. It’s a lot easier to be yourself when you don’t have that nagging worry in the back of your head as to whether or not your date is into your body type.
Some of the well-known and well-trusted dating websites for men seeking plus-sized women include BBWCupid, OneBBW, and WooPlus. There are a few others, but as far as being easy and convenient to use and having a wide network of members to connect to, I’d say these are the top three.
Best Dating Websites to Meet Men Interested in Plus Size Women
Online dating is really popular and there’s a good chance that someone you know met their significant other on social media or a dating website. Below, we’ll take a look at some of the best dating websites to meet men interested in plus size women.
These sites have been tried and tested by my girlfriends. I’ve included websites for dating for the curvy body, as well as those more traditional websites like eHarmony that works well for plus size people because of their search algorithms and the questions you answer when you sign up.
BBWCupid is brought to you by the same people who run OKCupid, so already it has the benefit of being a well-trusted, reputable site. After signing up, you answer questions that help determine some core values, interests, and what you’re looking for. Based on this information, BBWCupid shows profiles (and how well you’ve matched with them).
One of the downsides of BBWCupid is that while it’s free to sign up, it isn’t free to message other members. The cost isn’t outrageous when you pay for the yearly subscription all at once and it is a good quality service, but I don’t necessarily love that you have to pay for basic features like messaging.
This site does have the advantage of being easy to use and letting you either use the algorithm or filter people based on your own preferences. They also take the time to verify each member profile (which happens with 24-48 hours of signing up), so you know you are connecting with real people.
OneBBW has an app that works on your phone or tablet, so it’s great for people who want a more convenient way to date on the go. I do like that there isn’t a fee to get started and you can message people with a basic membership. However, there are other types of communication, advanced search features, and other premium benefits for people who pay extra.
I also really like that this gives you the option to post public photos, but also have a private gallery that only people you are friends with on the site can see. Plus, you can upload a video to your profile that will make you stand out from other users.
There are a lot of users on this site, so the dating pool is big enough that it warrants paying for service if you check out the app or site and decide that you enjoy it.
WooPlus has gotten a lot of attention from big names like Forbes Magazine, BBC, Google Play, and the Apple App Store with its various awards- and for good reason. It’s really a great choice to find men interested in plus size women and it has a much more sophisticated, upscale feel to it compared to some of the other dating apps out there.
It is free to send and receive messages with people you’ve matched with, though this has to be done with 48 hours of you both matching with each other. There’s also a challenge that users can complete to send free messages to people they have not matched with. Of course, WooPlus does have premium services you can pay for as well.
With so much exposure, there’s really a large community of users that you can connect with. That makes it easier to connect with potential romantic partners.
We’ve all seen commercials for eHarmony and know that it has a really high success rate for ending in successful marriages. If you’re looking for something serious, there’s a good chance that this route could work out. Plus, with eHarmony, people tend to value compatibility over looks (though physical attraction is important, too).
After signing up, users fill out a questionnaire about some of their key values and lifestyle. Then, they’re matched with various other users and can see how closely they are rated as far as compatibility. All profiles are also verified, so you know you’re interacting with real people.
Like a lot of other services, you’ll need to pay to message other members, chat, and maybe one day set up a date. However, for the quality of matches you get and because of eHarmony’s matching algorithm, I think the price is worth it.
I’ve included Zoosk because eHarmony isn’t quite as casual as Zoosk. Zoosk has tons of members and offers everything from friendships and casual dating to more serious relationships.
Zoosk is free to sign up for, but it’s one of the cases where you don’t get a lot with the free membership. It’s better to upgrade in my opinion because you’re seriously limited in how many messages you can send and who you can send them to, which is a problem when you’re trying to keep your options open.
One cool feature Zoosk has is virtual dating, where you video chat with a date while exploring a cool location somewhere in the world. It also has live videos where you can check out users that are online.
Other Social Media Sites
Dating-specfic websites aside, being active on social media is another great way to meet people. It’s easy to find people who share common interests and develop a connection slowly over time, even if you’re just liking each other’s photos and occasionally flirting.
When it comes to meeting that special someone, remember that it’s all about connection. You have to create that connection and come across each other’s paths before anything can come of it and being on social media makes it easier for that to happen.
How to Meet Someone IRL When You’re Plus Size
Some people prefer to go the more traditional route of meeting someone in real life (IRL), rather than dabbling in online dating. While you can hope to bump into the love of your life at the grocery store (it has happened), these tips can help you meet other people.
Participate in Hobbies You’re Passionate About
One of the best ways to meet people that have at least one thing in common with you is to attend events, classes, or other get-togethers and participate in hobbies you enjoy. Whether it’s art, cooking, dance, music, or something else, everyone has a passion. Even going to a sports bar in your favorite team gear, seeing a music artist you love in concert, or volunteering with your favorite non-profit are great ways to meet people.
When you’re doing something you’re passionate about, there’s the advantage of knowing you have at least one thing in common with anyone you might pursue or exchange number with. Even if this doesn’t pan out as far as dating, this is also a great way to make friends as a bigger person that share your interests.
Join Online Communities
By online communities, I’m talking about groups of people who get together virtually to share their hobbies, whether that’s chatting about their goings-on in life, playing video games or card games together, or starting a Dungeons-and-Dragons group (yes, I do have a friend that went out on several dates with a guy she played DnD with online before it fizzled out).
This really just shows you that meeting people is something that can happen anywhere or anytime. Plus, when you join communities doing things that you’re passionate about, you already know that you have at least one thing in common with the person you want to date. This is a great place to start and ensures you’ll have at least one thing to talk about, too.
Get Out of the House
When it comes down to it, you never really know when or where you’re going to meet that special someone who is going to change your life. If online dating doesn’t seem to be working out or if it isn’t something you’re comfortable with, then your best chance to meet new people is really just getting out of the house.
You could feel that spark while you’re walking through the park, at your local coffee shop, at a Comic-con convention, anywhere really. The bottom line is that there’s a good chance that the person you’re going to spend a significant portion of your life with won’t necessarily just materialize in your living room one day. Get out and give yourself that opportunity to fall in love.
Check Out the Local Club/Bar Scene
The local club and bar scene has its advantages and disadvantages. I feel that a lot of people meet people with the intent of looking for hook-ups and its really not as intimate of a setting as some of the others I’ve mentioned. That being said, it’s also a great way to meet people and maybe exchange phone numbers to see how the conversation goes.
This is especially true if you’re a regular somewhere and visit once a week or twice a month and bump into the same people. Sharing casual conversations over the course of a few months is a great way to slowly build a friendship that has the potential to be more. Bonus points if you know how to dance and have a great time while you’re there!
I can honestly say that even when I was single, the blind date scene really wasn’t for me, so this method isn’t one that necessarily works for everyone. However, if you do have a great group of friends or someone who knows your interests, blind dates can work out for the better.
Asking friends and family gives you the chance to cast your net a little wider than just the people that you interact with in your day-to-day lives. They probably know tons of people you’ve never actually met.
Blind dates aren’t the only way to use this technique either, though. If you aren’t sure about meeting someone, have them invited to the next get-together or barbecue. Sometimes, it’s a lot easier to see if there’s that spark in a low-pressure situation at a friend’s house. Then, you can always set up a date for later if things work out.
Dress to Impress
There’s nothing wrong with looking good and feeling confident in your clothes, even if you’re just running to the grocery store. There are days that I take a bath, do my hair and makeup, and wear something that feels a little extra fancy, just because there’s really no reason not to make yourself feel good!
Getting dressed up and feeling good is great for building confidence. Plus, who knows when you’re going to bump into someone and feel that spark?
Tips for Creating a Plus Size Dating Profile
One of the things about dating online is that there are so many other people trying it, too. While this gives you a wider selection, it also means that it’s a little harder to stand out in the crowd. These tips can give your profile that extra zing you need to stand out.
Post Full-Body Pictures
A lot of curvier women have a period in their lives where they were a little camera shy and maybe didn’t feel comfortable with the full-body shot. When it comes to online dating though, I feel like flaunting your curves is really a must. Hear me out.
When you post full-body pictures, there’s no chance that the person who messages you doesn’t know what you look like. This is something that really helps if you struggle with confidence. Plus, as more people reach out, it reinforces that idea that you really are as beautiful as all the other curvy women out there!
You don’t necessarily have to post yourself in a bikini (but you can and should if you feel confident in a bikini). What you should do, though, is choose some of your favorite styles, throw on a few accessories, and have a friend snap some full-body shots that you look confident in. If you need help deciding what to wear, we recommend these styles for plus size women.
Be Upfront About What You’re Looking For
Transparency is really important in the world of online dating. Being clear about your intentions upfront is a great way to avoid getting hurt or hurting other people.
There is nothing wrong with looking for hookups, looking for something casual, or looking for something serious. What really matters is that you are clear about what you want.
Of course, if you’ve ever developed feelings for someone over time, then you know something cool and casual can turn into something more. It’s also really important to communicate to the other person if this happens. If you want to be more serious and they aren’t ready to commit, it’s best to look for someone whose timeline in life aligns with what you’re currently looking for.
Having a shared interest is a great place to make friends or something more serious. When you have at least one thing in common, there is something to talk about and break the ice. It’s also great for planning dates that you’ll both be able to enjoy while bringing out your most authentic self.
While you don’t have to give up every detail of your life, mention a few things that you’re passionate about. Not only does it help find someone who shares your interests, but you’ll also know who took the time to check out your profile and learn a few things about you before starting conversation.
Let Your Personality Shine Through
If there’s something I’ve learned making friends with curvier ladies, it’s that we are always vibrant and full of so much personality. A lot of the plus-sized ladies I know are also hilarious and it’s a non-stop good time when we are together.
While it can take a little practice as far as what you actually say on your dating profile, don’t be afraid to crack jokes, be upbeat, and show off your personality. I find that the profiles that stand out most (those ones my friends show off) are generally those that are entertaining to read.
Don’t be afraid to check out other profiles to get some ideas of what to say. Then, tweak it to fit your personal style and the way that you talk.
Always Be Safe When Meeting IRL
No matter how long you’ve been talking to someone, you really should be careful about meeting for the first time. Do it somewhere public, always tell someone where you’re going and who you’re going with, and watch your surroundings carefully. While you shouldn’t be afraid to let your guard down, it’s one of those things where it’s always best to err on the side of caution.
One of the things I really like about some dating websites is that they have the option for members to video chat. Having a virtual date, even if it’s just chatting while drinking your morning coffee, gives you a chance to see a person’s face and verify that they are who they say they are before meeting them.
If you’ve exchanged contact information or social media info, there are plenty of apps for your phone that let you video chat as well. I also do like to be able to see someone’s facial expressions when talking to them, so I find that’s another benefit of this feature as well!
A Few Dating Tips for Plus Size Women
Before I sign off, here are a few tips for dating as a plus size woman. Some of these are some general tips and a few others are tips I’ve learned from the curvier ladies I know that are active in the dating scene.
Don’t Address the Elephant in the Room
One of my friends once asked me if I thought she should bring up her weight to some guy that she had met online before their first date. In my opinion, there’s never a reason to address that you’re plus-sized. It’s obvious to the eye and honestly, it’s not really something that you should feel less confident for or uncomfortable about.
Plus, with the exception of blind dates or being set up by a friend or family member, there is a really good chance that the person knew what you look like before the date (and that means they are into it!). This is one of the reasons I advocate for putting full-body pictures on your dating profile- there’s no risk that the person doesn’t know what you look like.
Remember That Not Every Date is Going to Go Well
Whether you’re casually dating or looking for that person you might spend forever with, expecting every date to be filled with good conversation, laughter, good food, and a fun time is just unrealistic. Sometimes dates are awkward or conversation doesn’t spark or it just isn’t a good time.
When this happens, try your best to enjoy yourself. (Though if it’s too much of a disaster, there’s nothing wrong with finding an out). Every date doesn’t go well, but all of them are great experience. If not that, then at least you’ll have an interesting story to share at your next girls’ night!
Don’t Disregard Someone Because There’s No Initial Spark
I mentioned earlier that I was someone who believed that there’s somebody out there for everyone. That being said, I don’t always believe in love at first sight. Sometimes, romance is something that needs to be built and worked at. I have a friend who wasn’t even sure she’d go on a second date with a guy because she just wasn’t feeling it- but he convinced her and they have been married about three years now.
That idea that there has to be some instant gravitational force that pulls you toward each other when it’s right really isn’t true. Some relationships are naturally kindled over time- just think about all those people out there that started out as friends and let things happen slowly.
There really is no right or wrong pace for dating, it’s about whatever works best for you and the person you are with. Besides, as long as you are having a good time and enjoying each other’s company, that is really what matters.
Remember Not Everyone Will Love Your Body Type (and That’s Okay!)
Often, people who say they don’t like the plus-sized body type are quickly labeled as fatphobic by society, but in my opinion, that’s really not the case. While I do see a problem with being outwardly rude and making remarks on someone’s body, not dating someone because of their weight does not make a person fatphobic.
While it doesn’t necessarily feel good to be told someone who caught our eye isn’t interested, you also shouldn’t really let that affect your dating preference. Yes there are people out there that don’t love the curvy body, but those people aren’t for us and that’s okay. Brush it off and move onto the next one.
Plus, I’d honestly rather spend my time with someone who loves me for my curves, rather than someone who loves me for my personality despite my curves. It’s much easier to feel confident and comfortable with your body around someone who has expressed how much they love your plus size body and that feeling of being able to be completely yourself is really what good relationships are built on.
Don’t Be Afraid to Flaunt It
I can confidently say from all the panicked texts I’ve gotten from my girlfriends pre-date that choosing that perfect outfit is a challenge. I’m pretty sure this is something that all women struggle with, not just the curvy girls, but it’s still a challenge.
When it comes to the perfect date outfit, the first thing I consider is where we are going. Obviously, you wouldn’t wear an evening gown to walk around the fair or the boardwalk and I wouldn’t wear a crop top to a nice restaurant (although you totally can rock a crop top on a first date if you were going to the beach or somewhere outdoors).
Next, I choose something that makes me feel confident. I’m not one to shy away from showing off my curves and I always encourage my friends to do the same. You shouldn’t feel bad about having a larger bottom, breasts, or hips and there’s nothing wrong with showing off your best assets.
Finally, accessorize your outfit in a way that makes you feel confident. If you like to wear open-toed shoes, paint your toenails. Get a spray tan if it makes you feel more confident or spend a little extra time on your hair than your normally would. When you feel confident, you’re going to act confident.
Eat as Much as You Normally Would
In my late teens and early 20s, I really struggled with eating in public. I was so critical about how much I was eating and looking dainty that I never really enjoyed my food. Even when out with friends, I’d say I wasn’t that hungry as I only ate 10 of the french fries I ordered and sipped on water to fill me instead.
I think this is something a lot of us have done on first dates because we are worried about how our date is going to feel about us eating. But honestly, if your date is concerned about your eating to the point of judging you for it, do you really want to get in a relationship with that person anyway?
I can say that I live for those nights watching some TV and having a few snacks with my partner before bed. It’s a pretty critical foundation for quality time in our relationship and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The dating world is something that’s pretty tricky to navigate to begin with and when you add in being a curvier woman, it’s definitely a little intimidating. That being said, for women wondering how to meet men interested in plus size women, there are plenty of options from dating apps and online communities to meeting someone in more traditional ways (like they did before the Internet).
Of course, it’s really about what works best for you. In my opinion, there’s no reason not to try online dating and spend plenty of time doing those things you enjoy. Relationships really have the potential to start anywhere, so keep your options open and know that when it’s time, it will find you.
As always, I’d love to hear any feedback you have about navigating the dating world as a plus-sized woman. Feel free to drop a comment below!